The Industry of “I Do”

2 Sep

Alright folks, I’m letting you know now. Just in case you thought this whole wedding thing wasn’t a big deal: get engaged. Then everyone you have ever known will let you know exactly how awesomely big a deal your marriage will be!

Just in case the dozens of reality shows, cable channels, movies, and more hadn’t convinced you that people are obsessed with weddings, starting the walk down the proverbial aisle (even from a year away) is daunting.

I’ve been engaged since June and I was overwhelmed from Day 1 (alright, maybe it was Day 2 or 10 or something like that) by the number of things I need to do and questions I need to answer and really, just the numbers

And it’s not just a big deal that you’ve found the one. If you’re like me, by the time you get engaged your friends and family will have seen it coming (especially if you’ve told them).

This is a multi-billion dollar industry that has a multi-billion long list of choices and demands.

Already I’m having to say, we’re not really going to do that. No, I will not go over my budget, why? Because whatever that budget is it’s already going to make me uncomfortable spending that much money on one single day. Albeit a day that will have hopefully the best party I ever go to, but still one day. One party.

What has been the most confusing and frustrating part has been trying to convince other people that what I want is different from what they think I want. It’s not that I’m upset, in fact it can be quite sweet, but I am, no matter what, pretty uncomfortable.

I switch into Passover Mode: why is this day so different from all the other days?

On this day, people who would never normally give me advice on what to wear or even want to go shopping with me are all dying to come along to the dress shop.

On this day, people who would normally back away from obligations are offering their help hand over foot.

It’s taken a couple of months but the initial swell of responses have died down and the fiance (which is a weird word to be comfortable with) has really done a great job of helping me take a step back and look at the situation objectively:

Why are they doing this? Because they love you. And guess what, no matter what happens we’ll be married at the end of the day. And that will be awesome.

I guess what I’m saying is, like all things in life, there’s a world of people who want to decide things for you. What’s important is to keep things in perspective and remember that if this day is really supposed to be about you and what you want, you’ll have to figure out what that is first. After that? Accept help, ask for advice, but know that in the end what will matter is your happiness– and not even the perfect wedding means you’ll automatically have the perfect marriage.

Keep it in perspective!

Here are a couple of my favorite perspective making sites so far:

  • Pinterest: While creating a collage may feel pointlessly crafty, collages can also be seen as visual graphics of the mood you want to create. If you’re a visual learner this is extra true!
  • Offbeat Bride: The tried and true source for unique weddings. It’s helpful to hear stories from those who are at different stages of the process than you.

Are there others you’ve found? Please share in the comments!

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2 Responses to “The Industry of “I Do””

  1. Angela Word September 10, 2011 at 4:46 pm #

    Like I said…consider it a “House Party” with a really awesome budget. No stress my beautiful friend.

    • redshana September 10, 2011 at 9:24 pm #

      You should think of it in the same way my friend! And then decide if it’s something you’re interested in 🙂

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