NSFW Weekends: The Problem With Size

1 May

Do you ever wonder who first stigmatized small penises?

I know, this is a weird question. But really. When and where did our obsession with size begin? And when and where did is seem to so profoundly find a home in the genitals of men?

Not too long ago, over on Jezebel.com, Anna North wrote a piece called “The Weird World of Penis Lengthening,” that intoned at the opening:

Guys, it appears that you can increase the length of your penis — if you want to stick it in a special penis-stretcher for about 700 hours, that is.

In a project sure to become the envy of dirty-minded thirteen-year-olds everywhere, Italian researchers conducted a review of penis-lengthening literature. According to the AFP, they found that surgical dick enlargement methods have an “unacceptably high rate of complications.” The Good Men Project helpfully details some of the more upsetting of these, like an erection that points down instead of up. However, some nonsurgical procedures are also available, and some of them work — kind of. “Penile extenders that stretch the phallus through traction” apparently increased penis length by a little under an inch, on average, and did so without decreasing girth. The downside: men had to use the penis extenders for six hours a day for four months in one study, and four hours a day for six months in another, to get the full benefit.

While the article continues by going on into some more explanation of this particular experiment into penis-lengthening, I nearly had to stop there.

I may not be a man but “unacceptably high rate of complications,” that have to do with “stretch[ing] the phallus through traction,” with the possibility of downward pointing penis after enduring these procedures, that sound like torture, for six months! That just doesn’t sound like it’s worth it.

In my search for a reason, albeit short (no pun intended), I found a questionably credible site that gave its stance on the history of penis enlargement:

Throughout history, humankind has been fascinated by the penis, especially by large penises. Cave drawings from 440 BC show kings with huge penises blessing their towns. Different cultures around the world have erected giant penis statues, monuments and temples. In fact, archaeologists are constantly finding examples of art that feature leaders and Gods pictured with large penises. From this trend, we can conclude that there has been a high value placed on a large penis for as long as man has walked the earth.

And maybe this is true. I’ve heard before that our attraction to big breasts is entirely to do with an instinctive desire for the woman most suited to care for a child, in other words, we’re attracted to physical traits that we orient as being related to fertility.

I’m sure that there’s a similar reasoning for the penis.

And while this may be a conversation for the ages, I’m happy to accept them as they come, no matter shape or size. They’re funny looking anyway.

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