And then there was “Suckerpunch”: A Movie Review

28 Mar

Let me just say, that I was excited about seeing Suckerpunch and I’m not disappointed that I did. However, the following post is going ot be all kinds of Spoiler Town because it’s making me want to go all breakdown on that joint. So, SPOILERS BE AHEAD YE MATEY! But just before that, let’s watch the trailer again… for old time’s sake

As always, first and foremost, I gotta give credit where credit is due. Zack Snyder has officially made a movie that included all of the following:

  1. Hot chicks in school girl outfits,
  2. hot chicks in stripper/dancer outfits,
  3. hot chicks in barely there badass soldier outfits,
  4. a dragon (and a dragon baby),
  5. some orc looking things,
  6. crazy mercenary robots,
  7. video game style fight scenes with pretty effects,
  8. AND steampunk zombie Nazi soldiers!


Now here’s the bad news, not a lot else happens. I mean, they kill the dragon baby and that pissed me off, but these are the main points I feel like the movie wants you to remember. That and that it’s super pretty.

I get where Snyder wanted to go. There’s the skeleton of a truly cool commentary on contemporary female characters in video games and anime, this idea that these strong women are always set in these awful situations, just to land in more awful situations so that maybe, in the end, there can be a barely happy ending.

Kind’a Dickensian if he had succeeded. Unfortunately, he doesn’t really. In addition to that, there’s this whole cross-genre OR (and it’s not entirely clear) the whole dream within a dream/fantasy within a fantasy context of the film that, that while allowing for it to be much more pretty and allow for very cool visuals, just felt pointlessly confusing.

Despite all this, I kinda liked Suckerpunch. I’ll admit it, even with some weak dialogue, Jena Malone gave fierce face. Girl can act. Also, I’ve thought for awhile that Emily Browning has the most ridiculously hauntingly pretty features and there was a truly enjoyable aspect of watching her look, for the whole movie, like a real-life Anime character, over-sized eyes and all.

And I just know that there will be a clan of sexy-semi-steampunk-soldier girls at next year’s Cons and I’m generally a fan of giving geeks an excuse to dress up in all the ridiculous ways they so desire. Because I am one of those geeks, though I don’t think I’d pull off these costumes.

Overall, I think I’d give the movie a B. The visuals are worth seeing it alone, they tell more of the story than the plot does, and despite that, it’s actually fun to sit down and watch a slew of cool looking fight scenes. So, let me know what you think?

Am I harsh?? Am I going easy on it??


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